"Held Up" and Post-Shoot Depression

It's now early April, and I'm coming off the best shoot I've ever participated in. So why do I feel so sad? Well, it's that rarely discussed but often experienced phenomenon that I call post-shoot depression, hereafter to be called PSD, that actors get at the end of an intense project where the players have bonded so tightly that we feel like family, yet when we wrap we know it's likely we'll never see each other again, at least not in the same context. But I'm getting ahead of my story.

When I last wrote, I had just finished a shoot for an episode of "The Office." It was intense, too, and the hours were long, and I worked with a core of about four people, but I didn't bond with them. Although we exchanged e-mails, I doubt any of us will be in touch. The atmosphere was just too busy, too loud, too hectic to allow for any real sharing. When I got back to LA, I didn't have plans for a long shoot, just a couple of auditions. I actually was already in rehearsals for a web series and a short film in the Bay Area. But then I got a call from a casting director who said he had seen my picture on Now Casting for a new comedy called "Held Up," a web series backed by Sony TV to be directed by Steve Carr ("Paul Blart: Mall Cop"). Although the role was just as a hostage (one of eight), as a featured background player I would get a lot of exposure and would get to be in the scenes with some high-profile comedic talent, plus get paid $125 a day. I said yes immediately. This was a golden opportunity for me. The writers are the well-known comedic improv actors Rusty and Jason Sklar. Most of the principles all had backgounds in comic improv troupes like the Groundlings in LA and Second City in Chicago. And since the cast was very small, I would get to work with Steve Carr directly. Steve has directed many music videos as well as other film comedies including "Daddy Day Care" and "Doctor Dolittle 2" and has a good reputation as a great guy to work with. So I was thrilled to be cast.

I had to drop out of my two projects in the Bay Area, and as it turned out, every single day I worked on the series I had to turn down at least one audition in LA. Plus, the call times were usually 7 a.m., which meant I had to get up at 5:30 to get to Woodland Hills, a suburb in the Valley about 20 miles from my apartment in Hollywood, on time. We started shooting on a Sunday, so the traffic was light, and I arrived at 7 a.m. on the dot. Normally, "on time" on a big call is 15 minutes early, but since this was a small shoot located in a vacant former bank, I wasn't too worried about not being early. As it turned out, I was the third background player there. There were five women and three men; one of the girls was a Facebook friend that I had never actually met, and one of the men was a close friend of the director's, a musician who had never acted. Our holding area was outside under two large open-air tents, with three craft services tables placed around the corner that were perpetually filled with caloric delights to tempt us. I don't know how actors stay so thin! We socialized over breakfast, filling in the usual details: how did you get cast, where do you live, how long have you been acting, what's your "day" job, do you know anyone in the cast, etc. While we chatted, each of us visited the wardrobe trailer to be approved for camera. I had been asked to bring five choices, from casual to bank manager, and the choice they went with was a smock top layered over a black knit top and leggings. It was the most comfortable thing I had brought, knowing that we would be wearing it every day for the 10 days of the shoot. Then I visited the "honey wagon," Hollywood's term for hair and makeup, and was approved to wear my hair straighter than usual and with bangs, and minimal makeup. Easy as pie.

After we were all dressed, we settled into the rhythm of the shoot: hurry up and wait. Every day we would arrive ahead of the rest of the cast, check in with the casting director/assistant director (the same person in this case, though this is not the norm), go to wardrobe, change, have breakfast, stand around and talk, check with the AD about when we would be used, then sit down and talk until they were ready for us, which was usually not until at least three hours later and sometimes as much as six. And this was out of what was usually a 12-hour day. The weather was gorgeous, once the cool morning gloom had burned off; it was usually in the 50s when we arrived but in the 80s and sunny by noon, with a light breeze. It was perfect for sitting around and talking about anything and everything, which is what we did. The project was a comedy, so there was a lot of laughter on the set, and we had a wide variety of people as extras who had great personalities and lots of funny and interesting stories to tell. We bonded closely, just as I imagine real hostages in a bank hold-up might do. We filmed the hostage situation in chronological order, as if we were hostages for 14 days. By that time, I felt like I had known my fellow background actors for my whole life, and I almost cried when I had to say goodbye to some of them.

I have had similar PSD experiences when I have worked on long projects like plays. On my first acting job, when I was in the ensemble for "Little Shop of Horrors," our cast grew especially close. I thought a lot of the reason was because 9/11 happened during our rehearsal period, and also because between rehearsals and the run, we were together for nearly three months. I made some close friends in that cast, some of whom I still am in touch with nearly nine years later, and I have acted with some of them in other projects. Plays and musicals always lend themselves to bonding because you do spend much more time together. But you are usually working a lot more than we were on this set. We had a lot of time to just sit and read, nap, play trivia or Jenga like some of girls did (reaching what must be a record of 35 levels!), play guitar like Steve's musician friend, or experiment with photos like another of the women did. And of course, talk, and eat. We had a little squirrel who we started to feed every day, until he got into one woman's market basket and stole an entire apple, which he carried to the top of a tall tree and then collapsed exhausted on a branch! We decided he had enough food at that point.

I did get to act, quite a bit. Steve used all of us every day. I was featured in the opening sequence where the first set (there are two) of bank robbers enter, screaming and dropping to the ground, in which Steve directed me personally. All of us got featured at some point in the series. The hostage group was used mostly in reaction to the principles, either in disbelief or fear or anger. And I was featured again, joyously being released from the bank. Best of all, because my contract reads the same as that of all the other players, I will be able to join SAG at the end of October, after I have been in AFTRA for one year, because the contract says I have spoken lines. So that is fantastic news for me. Filming was also like a master class in comedy, watching so many great improv actors change up their scenes using different words and expressions from take to take. It's nice to get paid, but honestly, I would do this for free.

Sony is the backer for this web series, and we were told it will be premiering on their web content channel (www.crackle.com) in August of 2010. We were also told that they are going to release it as a 90-minute feature, but I'm not sure when, or if it will be straight to DVD or in theaters or what. I honestly think it is hilarious and could be as successful as recent movies such as "The Hangover," but we'll just have to see. For me, it was just great to be part of the experience. I'm not sure exactly why I was cast, but I feel really lucky and like it may lead me to better things. Now if I can just find a cure for PSD, I'll be fine. The best cure, usually, is to get back to work. I'm working on that.

Til next time,
Jennie