On Typecasting and Shooting "Whoreders"

Business has been slow in LA since I wrapped "Held Up." I haven't worked a single paying day in April, not even any background work through my calling service. Most of the network shows have shot all their shows for the season, and the new pilots are wrapping up now. The major films that shoot in the summer are just cranking up, so we are in a major lull. And since actors like to be acting, I have resorted to taking a few non-paying, "will work for food" jobs. One of them was a short film for the web channel "Funny or Die." It is a parody of the popular show, "Hoarders," except that this show is called "Whoreders," and the star of the show hoards - you guessed it - whores. And I play - wait for it - a whore.

Now, I understand that most actresses have to play hookers at some point in their careers. Some of them even win Oscars for it, like Donna Reed in "From Here to Eternity." But usually, these actresses are doing it to play against type - Donna Reed definitely was not the hooker type, and that's why she won the Oscar. I'm not sure I've done enough work to have a type, but the work I'm best known for at this point - "Whorified" - just may have typecast me. Oh sure, I've played lots of mothers, teachers, nurses, doctors, and in my upcoming film, "Child of God," I'll be playing the lead, an innocent widow who is the soloist and secretary at a small town church, a far cry from a hooker. But until it comes out, the work that I've gotten the most recognition for is from playing a whore.

I'm not complaining. Hookers are great fun to play. On this set, there were about 30 or 40 of us in an old house right in downtown Hollywood, just a couple of blocks north of the Chinese Theater. We were all wearing tons of makeup and varying degrees of slutty clothes. I was relatively sedately dressed: I had on a black tank mini-dress with my black bra straps hanging out and lots of cleavage, lacy bike shorts, sky-high gladiator sandals, and huge dangling earrings, and I was holding a black feathered fan that one of the other "girls" had loaned me. The director had asked us to bring props and reading material that might be funny, so I read the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP - yes, I'm a member, because I'm retired) magazine (I was playing the "old" hooker, which is also starting to get "old"). Some of the girls' sex toys that they were using as props will probably have to be pixilated in the film; they were definitely X-rated. But it all worked; the atmosphere was great, and the props were funny.

So the idea for the film is this: the door opens, and the pimp says to the team who is doing the intervention, "These are my whores." The team gasps at the sheer number of us in the house (we were all sitting/lying over the furniture and floor) and make appropriate filthy comments. Then they tell him to start making cuts (eliminating us from the group). And one by one, as he cuts us, the team would lift us up and "bag" us as if we were garbage, just like they do on "Hoarders." Kind of demeaning, especially when you are doing it just to get a free lunch. And when the actor playing the pimp came up to me and said, "Hey, 1930s? It's time for you to go," I was actually hurt and didn't have to act my sad expression.

The funniest part of the shoot was the point where they loaded about fifteen of us onto the back of a dump truck, "bagged" (don't worry, there were large holes for us to breathe through, and the bags were clear, but it was kind of creepy), and them filmed it driving slowly away. When we took off the bags we realized we were on the main Hollywood tour route; a group of tourists was gaping at us and snapping photos of the whole shoot. All the hookers smiled and waved, and I called out, "Welcome to Hollywood!" What a crazy scene this place is.

So, I was happy to be working again, it only took about three hours, I met some nice people, and I had a good time playing "dress up." And the bottom line is, I don't care if I am typecast as long as I am getting paid. But this is supposed to be show "business," and I promised myself that since I am doing this as a "professional" actress I was not going to do any more of these non-paying jobs. So who's the real whore? The one who gets paid to do her job, or the one who gives it away for free?

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